There is a Madness in our Method
Well, I’m pleased to say that the winner of our Write a Poem and we’ll put it in a Christmas card and send you a posh hamper in time for Christmas Challenge, has been chosen and the cards are off to print as I type this.
So a very many lots of Crimbulmus Congrat to the slightly pithy Niki Bowyer for her poem ‘Schrödinger’s Hedgehog’ which I think may be poking me with a stick somewhat, but there we are.
It is quite weird to think that this will be the final Cult Challenge as both dreaming them up, and then reading the responses has become a major part of my life over the last few years. It will truly be sorely missed :)
But there we are. Life, eh?
But getting on with it – in this, the final Challenge, I wanted to have us all look back over the ups and downs of the year, and whether there have been more grey days than not, look forward to a brighter year ahead. So we’re looking for some sunshine to see us through the long wintery nights.
There are no limits for the poem in terms of length or style, so it is entirely in your own hands.
To be clear:
Rules:
Over the course of the year, there will be Four Challenges that focus on people and families and the places that they live.
There will be more details of how this fits together as we go, but the final challenge of the four looks at the local pub, The Red Lion.
Kitchener Road and the adjoining Hobson Road are a development of post war streets built as part of the slum clearance / regeneration of the inner cities.
As town planning was in vogue, it was decided that every block would have a shop on the corner of two roads. A Butcher, a Pub, an Iron Monger and a Grocers.
The Red Lion Pub was newly restored after being bombed in World War II, and was given quite a posh makeover, considering. Originally a coaching inn, Hobson and Kitchener Roads were built around it to keep a town planner happy, and in time it was much appreciated by the locals.
Run by a rather dubious character called Karl Raymonde, along with a variety of relatives who simply weren’t to be crossed, The Red Lion is the hub of the area, at least for the menfolk.
This challenge is asking you to describe a typical day in the life of the Red Lion – there are no limits beyond that, although it is best known for being a bit ‘dodgy’ so that is perhaps the best focus on a customer or one of the Raymonde clan.
There are no limits for the poem in terms of length or style, so it is entirely in your own hands.
To be clear:
Rules:
I know that we did Christmas last month, but I thought we’d gild that there lily one last time, as I wanted to produce our Christmas card this year and maybe even remember to send them for once.
This challenge then is a bit different from the Annual, as it is just for a single poem.
It is limited to a short form poem – Haiku, Tanka, got-bored-halfway, that sort of thing, but it must convey something that will make people smile.
What that is, I shall leave up to you.
The winning poem will be printed in our Christmas card and there will be plenty of copies for the poet, clearly, but they will also win a posh hamper from somewhere that does posh hampers. (I think we did Fortnum & Masons last time, but I’ll see what I can organise.)
To be clear:
Rules:
Last year we had our first Christmas Annual, and it went down so well that I thought it would be daft, even by my standards, not to make it an err, annual Annual.
So this month’s Challenge is to write a wee Christmas poem that has a hopefilled message for one and all in the form of a Christmas Wish.
We’ll publish this in the Pocket Hedgehog format and it will be out by Christmas (obviously) – so something to look forward to there too.
There are no limits for the poem in terms of length or style, so it is entirely in your own hands.
To be clear:
Rules:
Over the course of the year, there will be Four Challenges that focus on people and families and the places that they live.
There will be more details of how this fits together as we go, but the third of the four looks at the most unlikely of local tradesmen – Bill The Butcher who had a shop on the corner of Hobson Road.
Kitchener Road and the adjoining Hobson Road are a development of post war streets built as part of the slum clearance / regeneration of the inner cities.
As town planning was in vogue, it was decided that every block would have a shop on the corner of two roads. A Butcher, a Pub, an Iron Monger and a Grocers.
It was the Butcher’s Shop that Bill and his wife Elsie moved into, and living over the shop, they were quickly joined by their son Maurice (who would later become the first of the family to go to University, change his accent, reconstitute his vowels and who they would never see again. Something that was a constant source of sadness to Elsie if not Bill, who had always wondered if they were related anyway.)
In truth Bill was a thoughtful man, and was seen as a slightly unlikely candidate to be a Butcher, mainly because he suffered with Tourette syndrome which could be a little worrying for customers if he was using a meat cleaver. But it mattered little in truth, his deep thought leading to him feeding the cows Mars Bars which ‘sweetened the meat’ and made the shop increasingly popular and over time almost legendary.
This challenge is asking you to describe a typical day in the life of Bill or his family, it may focus on his work, the customers who frequented the shop or anything else.
There are no limits for the poem in terms of length or style, so it is entirely in your own hands.
To be clear:
Rules:
Back in the haze of forgotten time, when sea monsters were the most worrying thing to contaminate the oceans, a wide and yet also wild-eyed traveller braved the stormy tides and ventured to foreign lands, making friends with the people, before obviously stealing their treasures.
(Wives, children, liberty)
One such hardy thief, marauding by the name of “Wee” Willie Barrow, snuck away from parts distant with a box that came with a legend attached that would ultimately make or ruin lives over the centuries that followed.
For McBarrow’s box was a magical trove that could change the life of all who opened it, with how it did that depending upon whether they were true of heart.
For the good would find the joy of Inner Growth as their knowledge and wisdom became boundless, whilst the less so would be driven mad by a Mindless Exhilaration, of burning energy but ultimately a frustration beyond description.
Or so the legend said.
This challenge then is for you to find the truth, look into the box, either as yourself or on Wee Willie’s behalf and write a poem that outlines what was learned.
For the first time ever, I’ll ask that the poem Rhymes with extra marks if it can be performed as a sea shanty.
No really, it has been that kind of year.
To be clear:
Rules:
After the Pandemic ™ – Lockdowns – Fraud, Masks and everything else, there was an outpouring of poetry as we all tried to make sense of what the hell was happening and where it would all end-up.
And for some of us, it isn’t all over even now, but time does give a perspective and I thought that five years later, perhaps it was worth revisiting it all.
So this challenge is simple, write – or even – re-write a poem that looks at the whole Covid emergency, but with the benefit of perspective.
To be clear:
Rules:
Over the course of the year, there will be Four Challenges that focus on people and families and the places that they live.
There will be more details of how this fits together as we go, but the second of the four looks at the hub of family life, on the Corner of Kitchener and Hobson Roads, Connie’s Corner Shop.
Kitchener Road and the adjoining Hobson Road are a development of post war streets built as part of the slum clearance / regeneration of the inner cities.
As town planning was in vogue, it was decided that every block would have a shop on the corner of two roads. A Butcher, a Pub, an Iron Monger and a Grocers.
It was the Grocers that Connie Longstaff moved into and through the use of her well respected and stringently guarded Book of Tick – she quickly wove herself into the fabric of the neighbourhood. If Connie didn’t stock it, you never ate it.
So this challenge is asking you to describe a typical day in the life of Connie, it may focus on her work, the customers who frequented the shop or her ability to collect any debts on pay day. Connie, and her two boys James and Mel were never shy at getting what they were owed.
There are no limits for the poem in terms of length or style, so it is entirely in your own hands.
To be clear:
Rules:
We all have an inner dialogue, a voice that nags at us – whether as a conscience or a route map to where you need to be, even if it speaks a truth that we don’t want to hear.
Sometimes though, there is gold in those thoughts and this challenge asks you to explore your inner thought and find one of those universal truths or pieces of advice that we all need to hear.
Then share it in the form of a poem.
It can be anything – my Nan always told me that many a light hand makes a mixed muckle – although I may have not been listening properly, but dig deep and see if you can find something more useful.
There are no limits for the poem in terms of length or style, so it is entirely in your own hands.
To be clear:
Rules: